opening up

you know, i thought trying to open up was a good thing. but everytime i do...something always hurts me. i try and try and try, yet all i get for opening up is pain. i told mia how i felt and hoped she'd talk to me today, but nothing. i guess i will have regrets this school year again. hope? i hope she will at least say something on wednesday, if not ill have no more hope. i'll probably stop opening up and maybe ill change again. i dont know where this may lead. maybe being closed is best?